Daily Digest: Capstone Capsule

“In the fear of the Lord there is STRONG CONFIDENCE, and His children will have a place of refuge” – Proverbs 14:26

CONFIDENT PARENTING – as propounded in Jim Burns’s book – is rooted in the fear of God: “In the fear of the Lord there is STRONG CONFIDENCE, and His children will have a place of refuge” (Pro.14:26). In Christ, Confident Parenting is a possibility that provides strong security and creates a spiritual refuge for the children. Our meditation passage contrasts the foolish, reckless, self-confident person with the wise, God-confident one, to illustrate that a righteous life centred on God’s Wisdom brings stability and blessing: “A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a fool rages and is self-confident” (v.16). Confident Parenting rests on the truth that “The evil bow before the good, and the wicked at the gates of the righteous” (v.19).

Burn’s practical, compelling, and genuinely helpful book offers biblically-based counsel, encouragement and tools required to help parents move beyond a trial-and-error approach to child-rearing. He emphasizes the importance of intentional, purposeful parenting and creating a warm, grace-filled, and spiritually focused home environment. Although parenting is progressive, Confident Parenting is possible and realisable in Christ, through the Fear of God, which is a “fountain of Life” (v.27).

Nuggets from ‘Confident Parenting’ include:

Developing a strong family identity: A family vision or mission statement that is short and easy for even young children to remember, helps focus everyone on a shared purpose. By starting and regularly observing family traditions, families can create lasting memories and a sense of belonging. This includes celebrating milestones like birthdays, but also simple achievements and spiritual growth. Parents can identify, overcome, and break negative, generational patterns to foster healthier families.  

Fostering a Grace-filled home environment: Using three “parenting keys” – affection, warmth, and encouragement (A.W.E.) – will help create a home where children are loved and encouraged, and their self-worth and confidence built. Confident parents practice intentional communication which allows children to be heard and understood, and builds stronger bonds. Carving out time for the family to celebrate the Sabbath, abstain from electronics, chores, and work, will boost connections. 

Strategizing in handling parenting challenges: This implies parenting with a purpose, not by chance. Many parents react to situations rather than acting intentionally with a thoughtful and deliberate approach. Parental roles change as children grow, from controlling and micromanaging to coaching, consulting, and eventually mentoring. Confident parents do not go it alone, but lean on "replenishing relationships" for support – reaching out to others, including the church, to get help and guidance. 

Building a Legacy of Faith: The secret is to raise God-loving children by teaching respect and building faith within the home. A regular “board meeting” could hold every six months to intentionally discuss each child's progress and plan for their future. By proactively working through these strategies, parents can leave their children with a lasting legacy of security and faith.