FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS (3)

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age…” – Genesis 37:3a

The Bible stories of Joseph and David aptly illustrate the reality of sibling rivalry and FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS: “Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him” (Gen.37: 3-4). One would have thought that Jacob (Israel), with his fair share of the drawbacks of sibling rivalry, would have avoided it. No! He fell into the same trap of parental favouritism. A common dynamic of dysfunctional families is that children grow up and repeat the flawed patterns they saw in their parents, who acted out of their misguided assumptions and emotional deficiencies.

Polygamy ushered in jealousy, insecurity and continual conflict. Jacob’s passive parenting and lack of leadership brought incredible pain and confusion to his family. Joseph had three stepmothers, ten step-brothers, a brother, and step sister; and his elder brothers were brutal, conniving, and immoral. Each generation adds a fresh link in a growing chain of pain, unless someone deliberately chooses to follow the ways of the Lord. It’s hard to do what is right in a dysfunctional family, but not impossible. Joseph, though born to such a family, stands out as one of the most consistently godly men in the Bible. He represents what it means to walk with God in a dysfunctional family. His brothers sold him into slavery, but at the end, what was intended for evil, God used for good.

Interestingly, striking parallels have been noted between Joseph and Jesus. Both were innocent, both chosen and beloved by their father, both sent to see about their brothers, and both sold as slaves. Like Jesus, Joseph cast between two criminals, pronouncing the salvation of one and the death of the other, forgave those who sought his ruin, just as Jesus did. In the lives of both, it was the wicked plot of those who should have been the most likely to accept them that ultimately led to the salvation of all who would come. Joseph was faithful in small things and God made him ruler over many things. He experienced the powerful truth of Romans 8:28, a picture of God’s providence, working in all things for the good of those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose.

David’s was another sordid family (2 Sam. 11–18). This apex of royalty in Israel was also the specimen of family dysfunctions and problematic polygamy. Although a great king, warrior, and poet, as a father and husband he was a failure! His children didn’t get along with him – or each other – at all. His marriage to Michal was a major failure; his marriage to Bathsheba derived from an adulterous affair, and his son Absalom turned against him. As his kingdom crumbled, so did his family. Yet, David is branded in Scripture as a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22). More intriguing, Jesus was born into a family rooted in David’s lineage.

Even the earthly family of Jesus was not exempted from being dysfunctional! Joseph and Mary were set to be married, but before they said, “I do,” Mary became pregnant. Upon hearing the news, Joseph decided not to go through with the marriage. However, the Lord spoke to Joseph through an angel and told him that Mary would give birth to Jesus, the Son of God, who would save God’s people. So, Joseph married Mary and brought a child into his family who wasn’t his biological seed. It’s wonderful that this is exactly what God has done for each of us – His followers. Despite Joseph not being his genetic father, he was his legal father. It is instructive that God provided for His own Son to come into the world through ancestors that knew the worst of dysfunctions!