MARRIAGE, FAMILY AND PARENTING (3)

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up” – 1 Corinthians 13:4

LOVE is the Foundation of MARRIAGE, FAMILY, and PARENTING: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up” (1 Cor.13:4). Here, the apostle Paul describes agape love – a selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love upon which healthy and fulfilling relationships are built. In the context of marriage, family, and parenting, this transcends a sentimental feeling to provide a practical blueprint for how to interact with and care for one another. True Love is patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful or proud, not rude, not selfish, not irritable, and keeps no record of wrong. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Couples are challenged to build their union on a love that is a conscious choice, not merely an emotion that can fade over time. Genuine love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving, protective, persevering, and selfless, not reacting negatively to hurt, while enduring the inevitable conflicts and trials of married life. True marriage is a partnership, not a competition. It rejects boasting and pride, admits when wrong, avoids demanding its own way, keeps no record of wrongs, let’s go of past hurts and resentment, receives and offers grace and forgiveness, defends the union, steadfastly endures tough times together, and never gives up on the covenant commitment. It’s not about what we can get, but about what we can give. 

Love is critical for a healthy family dynamic, extending beyond the couple to siblings. A family built on love will: overlook offenses; focus on the positive; act with honour; and rejoice with truth. Family members choose to overlook irritations and offenses rather than letting them fester into grudges. Instead of dwelling on imperfections and mistakes, love chooses to focus on the good in one another, building a supportive and affirming atmosphere. Family members treat one another with honour and respect, avoiding rudeness or belittling remarks, thus edifying everyone. A family that rejoices with the truth values honesty and integrity, celebrates right-doing and avoids delighting in the wrongdoing of others. 

Parenting is a particularly demanding area for applying selfless “agape” love that is patient and is not provoked (vv.4-5). Proper parents are slow to anger, respond sensitively to the children’s struggles, ensure discipline guided by love, not frustration, and treat them with dignity, even when correcting, using kind words and compassion, not harsh language. They relentlessly believe in and hope for the best in the child. Parenting requires countless sacrifices of time, energy, and resources, but motivated by love – desire for the child's well-being, not the parents' self-seeking expectations. 

Ultimately, genuine love is not a passive feeling but an active, intentional choice. When applied to marriage, family, and parenting, it provides the greatest way to build strong, resilient, impactful, and loving relationships (v.13).