THE IMPACTFUL FAMILY (6)

“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” – Proverbs 12:18

Effective Communication is the vital lubricant of relationships, including the IMPACTFUL FAMILY: “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” (Prov.12:18). Our meditation passage presents how impactful families cultivate effective communication by using their words to build up and heal rather than to tear down. It draws a sharp contrast between careless, destructive speech and wise, truthful words that promote health and well-being.

Verse 18 says: "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (NIV. This presents two distinct communication styles and outcomes. Reckless speech is hasty, foolish, insensitive, and can inflict deep emotional and spiritual wounds like a sword. Wise speech comprises words that are thoughtful, intentional, comforting, and restorative. Wise persons use their tongue like a skilled surgeon's scalpel – to solve problems, not to cause harm or inflict injuries.

Understanding how words are spoken is as critical as what is said. A changed heart, not just controlled words, is what ultimately leads to wise and gracious communication. The surrounding verses reinforce the negative consequences of unwholesome talk and celebrate the benefits of wise communication. Impactful family members practice effective communication as they: 

Listen to advice: “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise” (v. 15). Instead of foolishly insisting they are always right, mature family members seek and consider the wisdom of others, fostering humility and open-mindedness.

Overlook insults: “A fool’s wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame” (v. 16). Fools are quick to show offense, but the prudent family member learns to overlook insults, preventing unnecessary anger and conflict from festering.

Speak truthfully: “He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit…” (vv. 17, 19, 22).  Trust and justice are built on honesty, while lies are fleeting and detested by the Lord. An impactful family creates a foundation of trust by telling the truth, even when it's difficult.

Bring joy with words: “Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but counselors of peace have joy” (v. 20): An impactful family actively uses words to build up and plan for peaceful, fulfilling outcomes.

Choose words thoughtfully: “The wicked is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will come through trouble…A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness” (vv. 13, 23). An impactful family is deliberate and cautious with their speech to avoid the pitfalls of broadcasting foolish ignorance or getting ensnared in trouble.

By practicing these forms of effective communication, a family can cultivate a supportive environment where members are quick to listen, slow to speak, and intentional about using their words for healing and building one another up.