FAMILY UNITY (2)

“Endeavouring to keep the UNITY of the SPIRIT in the bond of peace” – Ephesians 4:3

Although it is a divine gift, family members have a responsibility to sustain FAMILY UNITY: “Endeavouring to keep the UNITY of the SPIRIT in the bond of PEACE” (Eph.4:3). This scripture refers primarily to Unity of the Spirit in the Church, but it has secondary application to the Family. Amos 3:3 asks: “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” A godly, strong, and healthy family will endeavour to have Unity of purpose, vision, and understanding between the married couple at one level, between parents, children and any other members of the family at another level, and ultimately, between the family members and God. Unity of the Spirit does not necessarily equate absolute unity of ideas, but a sharing of beliefs, values, and strong feelings of connection.

In contemporary times, the emergence of new family types, distinct from the conventional nuclear family, makes the need for Unity even more pertinent. There are extended families, blended families, stepfamilies, and single-parent families. The extended family includes grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and so on. In a blended family, one or both parents have children from a previous relationship. A stepfamily is one in which one or both parents have children from a previous relationship, and those children are living with them. In a single-parent family, only one parent is present, probably due to divorce or children being born out of wedlock. These family-types can be difficult to navigate, but can also provide opportunities for sharing strength and support.

Each family-type has its own unique set of values and traditions. The nuclear family model has its roots in the teachings of Jesus in the Bible, while the extended family focuses more on sharing and helping others. Although pseudo-family settings such as polygamy, polyandry, cohabitation, and same-sex marriages also exist in the society, these are aberrations to what God instituted in the beginning: “But from the beginning it was not so” (Mt.19:8). Such warped affairs have no sound footing in God’s Word and cannot be promoted as His Perfect Will. However, like other human institutions, Family is for the good of humanity; a means to an end, not an end in itself; hence, in God’s Sovereign Mercy, penitent products of such distortions can find a place in His Family.

No matter the type of family we belong, every Believer is part of the Family of God. The Bible emphasizes the vital message of unity by often using the metaphor of family to describe God’s relationship with Believers in Christ. In Ephesians 3:14-15, Paul wrote that the whole family of believers, from the least to the greatest, can approach God with confidence: “For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the WHOLE FAMILY in heaven and earth is named.” In essence: No matter what type of family structure a person has, relationship with God is the most critical.

Our Lord Jesus teaches that in loving God, we should love our neighbours – family members are the closest neighbours (Mt.22: 37-39). Luke 14: 25-27 is sometimes quoted to infer that God wants us to “hate” our families. No! The biblical expectation of every Christian is this: Our love for God should be so great that by comparison, our greatest love in this world should seem like hate. God doesn’t want us to despise our families, spouses, orchildren. He wants us to know that following Him means choosing Him over anyone, anything and everything else. All families should be respected and cherished because God is the Author of Family.

Loving God enables us to love family: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God...If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1Jh.4:7,11). Specifically, we walk in Unity when we each “walk worthy of the calling with which” we were called “bearing with one another in love” (vv.1-2). Although family dynamics can be complex to comprehend, by focusing on Jesus and following His Model of Love, we can keep Family Unity in the bond of Peace.